Manual Sorry Im Not Sorry 6: Maids of Dishonor

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If this woman believes that appearing in wedding photos with a sex worker will result in her daughter one day doing sex work, why isn't she concerned that her son will one day hire a sex worker? Or do a little escorting himself? But this is the kind of issue that could land your fiance back in court — if his batshit ex decides to really push it — and a sex-negative judge could tear up your husband-to-be's custody agreement and place limits on his or your access to his children, all because his new wife is BFFs with a sex worker.

But I think you should drop the kids, not your BFF, from your wedding party. And while you might be tempted to tell the kids to go ask their mother why they're suddenly out of the wedding party — thereby making her the bad guy — take the high road and come up with an explanation that makes sense to the kids and spares their feelings There's a small-but-not-insignificant chance that your fiance's children will be relieved to be left out. As much as they may like you, as much as they may approve of your relationship with their father, TAFCA, a child can feel under pressure to play a public role in a divorced parent's second or third or fourth wedding.

Since children — particularly small children — may not feel comfortable saying no, lest that "no" be misinterpreted as disapproval of their parent's new spouse, I believe that smart parents and smart stepparents-to-be should err on the side of not asking their children to toss petals, bear rings or make toasts.

Over a year ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. I let the whole thing drag out way too long and made a lot of bad choices, and hurt her a lot more than I needed to. Three months after it was over, I broke contact with her. Six weeks later, she started calling me, but I didn't respond. One night around then I was in my basement bedroom at about midnight. She started calling me and I ignored the calls.

Then I heard a knock on my window. I came outside, and she was next to my bedroom window. She came at me and started screaming. I could smell alcohol on her, and she started choking me. She spent that night in jail, having been dragged off my front porch by two policemen, but not before kicking in a window. The last communication I had with her was an e-mail in which I told her not to contact me again or I would put a restraining order on her.

It's been about a year now, and I find myself wanting to contact her again, to say something like, "I'm sorry that I hurt you. When is it too soon to contact a crazy ex? Never, WAR. Never is too soon to contact a truly crazy ex. If you're concerned about how she's doing, ask a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend or lurk on her Facebook page like everybody else. But if what you're after is some sort of absolution for the excessive hurt your "bad choices" caused her — choices you didn't elaborate on in your rush to get to her faults — then you're not really motivated by any genuine concern for her well-being, WAR, just by a selfish desire to ease your guilty conscience.

Either way, no good will come of contacting her. Let it go. I'm gay, been gay for years now, and I want to be with a man as a life partner. My problem is that I honestly don't enjoy anal, but I like my boyfriend to be dominant, the man, the boss — however you want to define it. Is that just plain weird? Will I find a man? Researchers from George Mason University and Indiana University asked nearly 25, gay and bi men about their last sexual encounter with another dude.

Rosenberger, one of the study's authors, writes. Fewer than 40 percent of the men surveyed fucked ass or got their asses fucked during their last sexual encounter. Most interesting data point: Gay and bi men have "immense sexual repertoires. Many of these men are, presumably, in long-term relationships, and may not need to use condoms. But high HIV-infection rates among gay and bi men prove that there are lots of guys out there who should be using condoms and are not. Back to you, WAMEA: Some of those gay and bi guys studied might have had anal sex the second-to-last time they got it on, or were looking forward to anal the next time.

I do perceive These poor informal women are no more But instruments of some more mightier member That sets them on. Let me have way, my lord, To find this practice out. To Angelo. And you, my noble and well-warranted cousin, Whom it concerns to hear this matter forth, Do with your injuries as seems you best In any chastisement. I for a while Will leave you; but stir not you till you have Well determined upon these slanderers.

Mariana, who is wearing a big, black veil over her face, enters and acts all mysterious, claiming to be neither a married woman or a "maid" an unmarried virgin. She also claims that her husband "knows not that ever he knew" her. That's a cryptic way to say that Angelo doesn't know that he slept with her. Mariana is playing on the biblical idea that sex is "carnal knowledge.

Mariana announces that Isabella is lying about sleeping with Angelo. She knows this because when Angelo was supposedly "fornicating" with Isabella, he was in Mariana's arms. Mariana removes her veil and yells at Angelo for breaking their marriage contract. She also reveals the clever bed trick. Angelo admits that he was once engaged to Mariana but, when her dowry was lost at sea, he broke it off. Note: Mariana's story is different.

She says they took vows in a "hand-fasting" ceremony, which, according to common law is a legally binding marriage because they consummated their marriage last Tuesday night in the secret garden. Angelo says Isabella and Mariana are in on a secret scheme to ruin his life and the Duke pretends to believe him. The Duke tells the Provost to go find this mysterious Friar Lodowick and leaves Escalus and Angelo to sort out the mess. LUCIO Cucullus non facit monachum, honest in nothing but in his clothes, and one that hath spoke most villainous speeches of the Duke.

We shall find this friar a notable fellow. I would speak with her. Pray you, my lord, give me leave to question. Speak not you to him till we call upon you. They have confessed you did. Where is the Duke? Look you speak justly. Good night to your redress. Is the Duke gone? Then is your cause gone too. The Duke Dare no more stretch this finger of mine than he Dare rack his own. His subject am I not, Nor here provincial.


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Do you know me? I met you at the prison in the absence of the Duke. And was the Duke a fleshmonger, a fool, and a coward, as you then reported him to be?

SCENES FROM AN UNPUBLISHED DRAMA, [[.]]

You indeed spoke so of him, and much more, much worse. Did not I pluck thee by the nose for thy speeches? Away with him to prison. Where is the Provost? Provost comes forward. Lay bolts enough upon him. Let him speak no more. Away with those giglets too, and with the other confederate companion. Foh, sir! Why you bald-pated, lying rascal, you must be hooded, must you? Show your sheep-biting face, and be hanged an hour!

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Escalus assures the Duke they'll take care of it, and the Duke exits to make his Superman costume change. He returns a few moments later disguised as Friar Lodowick. Lucio yanks off the Duke's hood and Angelo and Escalus hop to. Looks like everybody's got a little explaining to do. To Lucio. Sneak not away, sir, for the friar and you Must have a word anon. Sit you down. Sir, by your leave. Hast thou or word, or wit, or impudence That yet can do thee office?

If thou hast, Rely upon it till my tale be heard, And hold no longer out. Then, good prince, No longer session hold upon my shame, But let my trial be mine own confession.


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  • Immediate sentence then and sequent death Is all the grace I beg. DUKE Go take her hence and marry her instantly. To Friar Peter. Do you the office, friar, which consummate, Return him here again. Your friar is now your prince. As I was then Advertising and holy to your business, Not changing heart with habit, I am still Attorneyed at your service.

    And now, dear maid, be you as free to us.


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    • O most kind maid, It was the swift celerity of his death, Which I did think with slower foot came on, That brained my purpose. But peace be with him. Make it your comfort, So happy is your brother. Lucio realizes he's in a little trouble and tries to sneak off, but the Duke has the Provost grab him. Of course, Lucio's not the only one who needs to seek forgiveness from the Duke. Angelo realizes that the Duke knows all about his recent shenanigans and immediately 'fesses up to everything. The Duke orders Angelo to marry Mariana in a religious ceremony, which will most definitely make the marriage legal.

      They leave the stage to get hitched. He then turns to Isabella and says, "I bet you're wondering why I didn't save your brother's life—but Claudio is in a better place now. We do condemn thee to the very block Where Claudio stooped to death, and with like haste. DUKE It is your husband mocked you with a husband. Consenting to the safeguard of your honor, I thought your marriage fit. Else imputation, For that he knew you, might reproach your life And choke your good to come. For his possessions, Although by confiscation they are ours, We do instate and widow you with all To buy you a better husband.

      DUKE You do but lose your labor. DUKE Against all sense you do importune her. They say best men are molded out of faults, And, for the most, become much more the better For being a little bad. So may my husband.

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      I partly think A due sincerity governed his deeds Till he did look on me. Since it is so, Let him not die. My brother had but justice, In that he did the thing for which he died. Thoughts are no subjects, Intents but merely thoughts. I have bethought me of another fault. Duke Vincentio says that Angelo must be put to death.

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      The only way justice can prevail is if Angelo pays for his crime against Claudio with his own life. Isabella kneels down before the Duke and begs for Angelo's life. We know. This doesn't make any sense. The problem with Isabella's argument is that Angelo has slept with Mariana, which is exactly what Claudio did with Juliet.

      In other words, Angelo and Claudio have committed the same crime. The Duke pardons Angelo and then turns to the Provost and pretend-fires him for executing Angelo without a proper warrant. Go fetch him hither.

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      Let me look upon him. DUKE There was a friar told me of this man. But, for those earthly faults, I quit them all, And pray thee take this mercy to provide For better times to come. I leave him to your hand. DUKE , to Isabella If he be like your brother, for his sake Is he pardoned; and for your lovely sake, Give me your hand and say you will be mine, He is my brother too. But fitter time for that.

      Look that you love your wife, her worth worth yours. You, sirrah, that knew me for a fool, a coward, One all of luxury, an ass, a madman. If you will hang me for it, you may, but I had rather it would please you I might be whipped. DUKE Whipped first, sir, and hanged after. The nuptial finished, Let him be whipped and hanged. Your Highness said even now I made you a duke. Good my lord, do not recompense me in making me a cuckold.

      DUKE Upon mine honor, thou shalt marry her. Thy slanders I forgive and therewithal Remit thy other forfeits. She, Claudio, that you wronged, look you restore.

      Sorry Not Sorry

      We shall employ thee in a worthier place. The Provost explains that there is a prisoner who was supposed to be executed that he kept alive: it's Barnardine. The Duke tells the Provost to go get him. The Provost disappears and returns with And Barnardine Claudio is "muffled," so no one can see his face, but then the Duke has him "unmuffled" and everyone sees that Claudio is alive. The Duke, who is really pleased with himself, turns to Isabella and says he's got one more awesome surprise for her—he wants to marry her, lucky girl that she is.

      Isabella is completely silent. Is it because she's overjoyed or because she's horrified? You decide. Then the Duke turns to Lucio and says he'll be whipped and then hanged. First, though, he has to marry the prostitute he got pregnant. Remember, Lucio confessed earlier to getting a woman pregnant and then lying about it in court. Then, once he's married, he'll be whipped and hanged. Lucio begs the Duke not to force him to marry a prostitute.