February fecal feces Fed fed federal federalism federalist Federal Reserve System federate federation fed up fee feeble feeble-minded feed feedback feedbag feeding feel feeler feeling feelings feet feign feint feisty feline fell fellow fellowship felon felony felt felt-tip pen fem. Jane Doe jangle janitor January Japanese jar jargon jaundice jaundiced jaunt jauntily jaunty javelin jaw jaws jaywalker jazz jazzy jealous jealously jealousy jeans Jeep jeer jeez Jell-O jelly jellyfish jeopardize jeopardy jerk jerkily jerky jersey jest jester Jesus Jesus Christ jet jet black jet engine jet lag jet-lagged jet-propelled jet propulsion jet set jet setter jettison jetty Jew jewel jeweled jeweler jewelry Jewish jibe jiffy jig jigger jiggle jigsaw puzzle jilt jingle jinx jinxed jitters jittery jive job jobless joblessness jock jockey jockstrap jocular jocularity jog jogger jogging john John Doe join joint jointly joint venture joke joker jolly jolt jostle jot journal journalism journalist journey jovial jowls joy joyful joyfully joyfulness joyous joyously joyride joyrider joyriding joystick Jr.
July jumble jumbled jumbo jump jumper jumper cable jump rope jump-start jumpsuit jumpy Jun. Rochelle, cursed school teacher, paraded Ariel out of the orphanage to find her a match. Pink hair girls are sweethearts. Yeah right. That lowlife bottom-feeding insect, Lenchena, had stolen her body and her life. Ariel had stopped complaining years ago because it got her nowhere. She was on her own and needed to find a way out of this body and back to her ship. With the almost age of marriage upon her, it was now or never. Then Ariel was going to find that little twit who stole her body and make her pay for stranding her on this backward planet.
Heading toward marriage with Massimo? The boy dreamed of owning a restaurant with a pretty wife. Time ticked fast now.
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Massimo was a child, too. Getting her body back from the child thief, Lenchena, mattered far more. This body was now strong. Plus, Sheratons mated for life, something Ariel refused to believe in. But in order not to draw attention to herself, she played along. A group of male soldiers marched past the closed door of the school room. The females in the class twisted around to catch a glimpse of them.
Why did these aliens keep males and females separate until marriage? The customs of this world never ceased to amaze her. Had they never had sex before? The sexually denied tightness irritated her body, and her mind longed to be back working on a single engine design. Then hating her life at the age of twenty four, she decided to go to law school. Four years later, after passing the bar and practicing very little, she realized that she hates the practice of law.
She refused to one day turn 50 and realize she had nothing but her career and hours at a desk. After realizing she needed change, she became a high school teacher. Teaching is rewarding, but writing is a passion. During all this time, she always wrote stories to entertain herself or calm down. When she woke up to what she wanted, the dream of writing became so obvious. She dreams of writing professionally, where her barista can make her coffee and a walk on the beach, can motivate her tales. Contemporary romances are just fun to write. Filed under book sale , guest post , Science Fiction.
Tagged as Jessica Aspen , romance , sci-fi , sci-fi romance , Science Fiction , the zoastra affair , victoria pinder. Check it out HERE. See you Thursday! Leave a comment. Filed under Bloghops , romance , Thursdays Bite. Tagged as facebook , Jessica Aspen , romance , romance authors , round robin , thursdays bite. Why else would so many of the women I met up there have become such terrific authors? Including, Alana. New Orleans is a fabulous old city of the South, a culturally-rich city that draws from roots in Europe, Africa and the Caribbean.
But New Orleans has a darker side, also long set in its history. The American Heritage Dictionary defines voodoo as: A religion practiced chiefly in Caribbean countries, especially Haiti, syncretized from Roman Catholic ritual elements and the animism and magic of slaves from West Africa, in which a supreme God rules a large pantheon of local and tutelary deities, deified ancestors, and saints, who communicate with believers in dreams, trances, and ritual possessions. Also called vodoun. As in most practices, the majority of those who practice this religion use it for purposes of good—to heal the sick, to help the hungry, or those addicted to alcohol or drugs through direction of spiritual energy and protective amulets called gris-gris.
But there are those who use its arts for evil, to gain personal power, to mete out revenge, and to harm others. This is the picture many Hollywood films have used to demonstrate voodoo and its practitioners, often with dolls stuck full of pins or blood-soaked curses. The Big Easy seems like the perfect place to rest, relax, and forget about the legal business.
Too bad an obnoxious—but handsome—lawyer from a rival firm is checking into the same bed and breakfast. Attorney Evan Farrell has Mardi Gras vacation plans too. When he encounters fiery and attractive Brianna, however, he puts the Bourbon Street party on hold. To escape his poisonous web, she must work with Evan to solve the curse. But is the growing love they feel for each other real? Or just a voodoo dream? He bent before the altar and reached into a screened box.
A flourish of drums preceded a moment of reverent silence as Copper drew out a huge gold-flecked python.
English Vocabulary Word List - Alan Beale's Core Vocabulary Compiled From 3 Small ESL Dictionaries
He held the undulating snake up in the firelight. The monster had to be at least ten feet long. A dancer moved forward to take it from the priest. It curled around her as Copper oiled his hands from a jar on the altar, then massaged the snake. The dancers slowly weaved forward in a line, backs undulating in rhythm, giving the appearance of a snake themselves.
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In sharp contrast, Brianna now stood still, eyes closed. What was it with these ooga-booga guys anyway? The next one that shut him up would have his attitude seriously adjusted. A slice of the dagger slit her finger. She shifted to bear its weight, standing with her arms out as if crucified. How could she calmly let this happen? December at Amazon. She has been a published writer for over thirty years, including seven years as a reporter and editor at a newspaper in Homestead, Florida, with a list of eclectic publications from horror to tech reporting to television reviews.
She writes urban fantasy and science fiction under the name of Lyndi Alexander. Happy holidays to you and enjoy! Filed under guest post , Magic , romance , romantic suspense , Suspense , Whimsical Wednesdays. Tagged as alana lorens , Jessica Aspen , mystery , romance , romance author , romance novel , romantic suspense , whimsical wednesday. And there are prizes, of course, so you get to enter for those as well on my facebook page and all the other authors pages as well.
We decided to write the story in advance, that way none of us had to worry about getting our section on a day when life fell apart. Which seems to be happening to me a lot. Writing it ahead of time meant that I still only had one day to get my piece done so I could send it to Holley Trent.
I knew where it had started and I could see the threads twisting through the pages. Then, despite where I thought it should go I had to hand it off to Holley. Oh, the worry! Oh the concern! I think Holley had the toughest portion of the job—making the story gel at the end. I realized this when I got the first three pieces of the story. Each author had added a new twist, and I needed to get them into a place where Holley could pick it up and wrap it up.
The sym- bolic consensual helplessness heightens the physical response and amplifies the pre-orgasmic sexual tension. The falling of the wax splashing on the skin is somewhat like a hot raindrop, but as it quickly cools, it feels like a point of massage oil. There does seem to be a direct line connected to the clitoris, making the sexual response even more intense. These are just a few examples of how I experience sub- mission physically. To those who still feel you have to ask, "Why do you enjoy pain? Intearalinn SBitihiiilihi mi Hihial Looking at the stage of transparency takes me into the arena of deep trust and has, for many, a spiritual compo- nent.
All of my religious upbringing and the development of faith that took place in adult life leads me to accept this truth. I do not know' why I am thus called, only that I am. I can no more deny this call than the biblical prophets could deny their call. I have seen this in others as well, others who risk more in the way of heart and home than I do by answering the impulse within. The word "soul" represents an individual's ideas, feel- ings, hopes, fears, and desires. Everything that shapes us, surrounds us, or in any way influences us rests within this soul.
When one senses the stirring within one's soul, it is nearly impossible not to heed these signals, whatever they may be. For me, the most satisfactory image of soul comes from the ancient Greeks, who viewed the different aspects of the soul with different deities.
To me, this is why the call is so strong, it is a call to be whole, to be integrated and happy within. Myself, I would call it a faith experi- ence rather than religious. Anyone who experiences the joy of newfound faith is often willing to give up control to God. In mature faith, however, one finds that God speaks to one's heart through the community and through the aching and longings within the heart.
To listen to the spirit that calls beyond what you are takes courage. You know it is a right move spiritually when you feel a peace within about your decision and when your move is affirmed by the community. In both cases, precon- ceptions and "the way it ought to be" mentality are cast aside in order to make room for new fulfillment.
But in neither case do people abandon what they are at the core of their existence. Instead, they often find that they become more true to themselves. Patriarchal religions have long attempted to separate the holy from the body — especially from the sexual aspects of the body. Yet, if there is one way the Almighty could be sure that we would "go forth and multiply," it is by this marvelous gift of sexual drive.
The vaginal symbols are more subtle: bowls, water or other liquids that flow, such as melted wax, roses and their scents, circular or undulating movement, and repetition. During a scene, beyond the enjoyment of the participants, there is a sym- bolic reality expressing that sexuality is part of who and what we are. We approach the divine by the ecstasy of the scene being acted out.
I often play out in my mind a scene where I symbol- ically make my gift of submission. It starts with two of us walking to the center of the "scene," or ritual space. My outer clothing is vanilla, and I have on a priestlike stole symbol of authority and power that is rainbow colored. This shows that we start out as equals. Pachelbel's Canon begins softly and slowly grows louder.
As the music becomes manifest, I kneel down, bow, and then take off the stole and place it on my lover the power transfer made manifest. He motions me to take off my vanilla outer clothing, and I do a symbol of a willingness to become vulnerable. He puts the cuffs on me a symbol that 1 trust being help- less before him. Here I would feel the fire. It might be real fire on skin or skin reddened and warmed by the whip symbolic of passion. This music by itself is sym- bolic of spiritual journey as it talks of letting "fantasies unwind" and letting the "darker side give in. The fire of the candle is symbolic of the fire in the soul, and the image of light corning into darkness is replete with symbolism.
As the music builds, the lyrics ring out: "You alone can make my soul take flight; help me make the music of the night. This, to me, is symbolic of reaching heights in a journey that one could not reach alone or if one did not risk. As the music dies down and we move apart, he takes off the stole and holds it out in front of him, draped over his hands. He bows. I return the bow and, while my head is still bent submissively, he replaces the stole around me a symbol of power returned.
We again embrace and kiss as equals. When I think of a private scene, it seems like private prayer and as such is open to a multitude of diverse expression. Submission as Personal Mil Being a submissive woman has taken me on a journey that has challenged my preconceived ideas and has forced me into clarification of my values. I have gone beyond pain and pleasure and into a world of self-discovery, personal fulfillment. I have discovered a side of me that is curious about my previously repressed bisexual nature and a receptivity to open relationships. At times, I have felt like Abraham in the Old Testament, when he was asked to give back to God the son who was to be the instrument of God's promise.
How could I give up the values of my youth or the hard-won advances of the feminists who have gone before me? Listening to that small voice within, 1 have been abundantly blessed, as Abraham was, when I trusted the spirit within rather than conventional wisdom. At other times. I've felt as if I were an unwilling prophet like Noah or Paul. It has seemed that I have been as compelled to be a prophet of a new sensual- ity as they were to spread the word of God. My early faith development and refinement, even though it was in a very patriarchal religion, has taught me to live the questions.
Being submissive may have put chains on my body, but it has removed my soul from bondage. What many of us do would seem to be painful, but most dictionary definitions of pain include phrases like "leading to evasive actions" or "which are avoided. Therefore, they cannot be pain.
Or can they? This paradox reminds me of a story' about a politician who, being asked if he opposed liquor, said, "Are you referring to the Demon Rum that destroys lives, reduces families to ruin, and is the shame of our cities; or are you referring to the delirious elixir that rejuvenates the tired. I've never known a submissive who got off on a stomach ache from a bad hot dog. However, many people enjoy the very similar pain resul- ting from an enema. A swat from a closing spring-loaded door is annoying; one from a leather-clad lover is exciting. Nor is it simply situational.
More than once I have had to pause during a session to untangle a strap which was pinching my submissive or to ease her leg cramps. Why did these pains "bring her down" when she was receiving substantially greater pain from the whipping, strapping, or waxing? The answer could be that the pains are different. Popular myth has it that Eskimos have dozens of different words for snow. We have only one word for pain and only one for love, which is another interesting shortcoming for English. But not one I want to address — not here, at least.
The stress researchers found that there are two kinds of stress: eustress good stress and distress bad stress. Interestingly, the distinction between these two stresses is completely within the soul of the indi- vidual. Where one person might see a roller-coaster ride as the high point of her day; to another, it might be a glimpse into hell.
Our discussions are laden with indirect references to them. Most sub- missives prefer to begin with some relatively light, sensu- al, familiar stimulation. As the Level of endorphins builds and the submissive "gets into his or her space," the cone of positive pain widens, and the dominant has a broader range of stimulation to choose from. This is where experience and sensitivity come in.
By riding just short of the edge, where positive pain becomes negative, the dominant can take the submissive to heights of pleasure he or she never expected to be able to reach. However, crossing over that edge, moving outside the cone of positive pain, can distract the submissive and shat- ter the mooe of the scene.
This is what creates the intensity of communication between the submissive and the dominant.
Alan Beale's Core Vocabulary Compiled from 3 Small ESL Dictionaries (21877 Words)
The body lan- guage, tone, and timbre of cries — even odor — provide dues that allow an experienced dominant to bring the sub- missive right up to the edge without crossing it. The position of the edge varies from day to day and is responsive to the pace and timing of the stimulation and to the tool employed. In fact, in the non-euclidian space of domination and submission, it is also possible to go beyond the edge without passing it. For example, a particular submissive may be in sheer heaven with hours of firm, measured spanking but may reach the edge rather quickly with a few swats of the cane.
Conversely, the cane may produce a marked negative reac- tion red light! Another thing that differentiates the kinds of pain is a sense of control and trust. Recently, doctors have been fit- ting patients with small pumps with which the patients can dose themselves with pain medication. To many peo- ple's surprise, the patients used less medication than they would have been given in a typical nurse-supplied situa- tion. It wasn't that doctors and nurses had been overdos- ing patients; the patients who could control their own pain could tolerate more of it.
They were in control of the situa- tion. This may explain why a twisted strap or cramp can be painful and a whip pleasant. The strap and the cramp are unexpected and uncontrolled. There is no assurance that no harm will be done. The whip, on the other hand, is con- trolled by someone who is seen as trustworthy, one who would not inflict lasting or gratuitous harm. The submis- sive recognizes either overtly or covertly that he or she has the overriding say in the scene.
It was an alien intru- sion into this dance of trust and submission. Since I did not control it, my submissive did not even have the indi- rect control over the stimulation to which she had become accustomed. This created a sense of negative pain, and she used her safe word to bring the situation under control once again. This sense of control over the outer parameters of the scene may also explain why experienced submissives playing with unfamiliar dominants are unable to tolerate the same degree of stimulation they would enjoy with familiar partners.
It is fragile, broken easily, and can rarely be mended seamlessly. However, it is a treasure beyond price, the key that opens fantasy to reality. Occasionally, it is spoken with a an air of angry frustration as if there should be a branch of Subs Are Us on every comer. More often, the tone is one of frustration and disappointment. I won't sugarcoat the truth. It is difficult and frustrat- ing for both sides in this eternal dance.
If you are seek- ing a male submissive, remember that you are asking him to admit to desires contrary to every precept he was brought up to hold. If you are seeking a female submis- sive, keep in mind that by admitting her desires, she could be seen to be rejecting gains that women have 69 70 j John Warren slowly and painfully made over the last 20, 50, years. Is it any wonder the streets are not filled with people wearing buttons reading "I'm Submissive; Take Me"?
There are basically two routes to your goal. One is to attract an individual who has already made up his or her mind that submission is the desired path. The other is to help a potentially submissive person liberate his or her feelings. Neither is easy. Let's look at the first path. On the surface, it looks smooth. We have a group of submissives looking for domi- nants and a group of dominants looking for submissives.
Put them together and all will be well — and, in an ideal world, this would be true. Unfortunately, within each group, there is a smaller group of people who are not what they seem. Each group includes mindfuckeis, blackmail- ers, and outright confidence tricksters. Removing them from the mix sometimes seems like an overwhelming task. To make things harder, submissives are looking for someone strong in spirit and confident, someone to whom they can entrust their safety.
A seemingly frenzied search does not present these qualities to the onlooker. Perhaps the best approach for a dominant to take is pre- sented, somewhat tongue in cheek, in this short parable written on Prodigy by a Midwestern dominant. Somewhere in the stormy North Atlantic, aboard the U. Dominance: "Captain We'll let them come to us.
Libido, you obviously don't know how the The Loving Dominant j 71 U. Dominance retains its control over the high seas. Man your battle stations! Full speed ahead! You will rescind those orders and never dare to overstep your authority on my ship again! Dominance is a dominant ship! And, as a dominant ship under my command she will stay her course while the sub approaches. Stand down from battle sta- tions. Steady as she goes.
Libido, protest if you will. But the sub will be handled my way, or it will not be handled at all. Libido, continue to leam. One day you will be a captain of a dominant ship yourself. He is more likely to take care of himself and, by extension, of me. That doesn't mean that I don't like to travel fast — only 72 j John Warren that there is a time and place for that, and the begin- ning is figuring out where all the buttons are and what they do.
Some people are natural- born dominants, masters, or trainers, but that doesn't mean the skills can't be learned. And there are lots of rules about shaping behavior that apply, no matter whom you're shaping. Whatever the medium, the method is to give trust, for a dominant must earn the trust of a submissive by being trusting, while keeping alert for those who are flying false colors. True submissives look for this trust in an attempt to separate us from the sadists and those who would do them harm.
Unfortunately, there are those among them who would use this trust to hurt us. Because of this danger, it is a good idea not to reveal too much about yourself during initial contacts. Naturally, this is directly at odds with the need to give trust. It is a delicate balance, not susceptible to easy solution. My method is to rent a post office box to receive replies to my advertisements or responses to replies I have sent out. Others prefer to rent boxes from private companies.
These have a significant advantage. It is often possible to obtain a street address for a PO. I usually include my telephone number in initial trans- fers; however, I have specified that the telephone company neither print my address in the directory nor give it out to those who request it. This way, I can tell the potential sub- missive to call me so that she can maintain her privacy while checking me out. A dominant friend uses another way to avoid annoyances while giving out his telephone number.
He subscribes to a voice-mail system and gives out that number. He says it is relatively inexpensive and saves a lot of hassle. Some of these have no malevolent intent, but are simply confused by what they want. Others are just intentionally cruel. The most com- mon encounter of this type begins with the exchange of a series of passionate notes or phone calls, in which she or he seems to be everything you ever wanted and more.
You get hotter and hotter — and suddenly the contact is broken off. A crueler scenario has you traveling hundreds and perhapw thousands of miles, to have no one waiting for you when you arrive. There is really no perfect defense from these people. The old saw "If it seems too good to be real, it is" applies. So does getting as much information about the submissive as possible before committing to any major inconvenience or making any significant commitment.
However, many genuine submissives are reluctant to give out much infor- mation to a relative stranger. Therefore, you must strike a balance between what you perceive as a risk and what you have as a need. The same rule applies to the confidence tricksters. However, they generally reveal themselves in their single- minded search for money. The scenario goes like this: she male dominants are most often the victims here seems to be your dream submissive. There is an exchange of letters and, perhaps, phone calls.
She informs you that she wishes to fly to your arms and dungeon, but she doesn't have the price of a plane ticket Would you. This is not to say that there are no submissives who are short on traveling money; however, such a request should send up warning flags. Other clues are typed rather than written letters and an inability or unwillingness to phone you.
Again, some submissives find it easier to type person- al letters than to write them, and a small percentage does truly lack the freedom to send and receive calls. However, caution is called for. Fortunately, most tricksters who sink to this kind of work are woefully lacking in skill and intelligence. If they were smarter, wouldn't they have been running a savings and loan company?
Unsigned computer-generated letters. I don't really object to their trying to trick me; I just wish they had a higher opinion of my intelligence. Blackmailers are more difficult to deal with. Fortunately, the numbing of the American mind has made this a vanish- ing breed, except when political figures and socialites are the targets. If you don't fit into either category, you proba- bly have little to fear. You don't want to write a biography. That gets expensive because most mag- azines and newspapers charge by the word.
It can also convey a sense of desperation that does not reflect the calm and controlled demeanor that attracts a submissive. On the other hand, advertisements like "Are you sub- missive? Write me" are unlikely to attract a high-quality group of submissives but are likely to be the natural feed- ing ground of the unsavory groups I mentioned. Keep in mind that this is the first step of a seduction. Outright commands "Drop to your knees and write" can attract a certain group of fantasy players, but to attract people who seek a long-term submission and concomitant relationship, a more informative advertisement is needed.
The best approach is to think seriously about what kind of submissive you want and what he or she would want to read. Be as realistic as possible; at this stage fantasy is counterproductive. Your advertisement should include information about yourself if you want to provide it, but lying is almost always a serious mistake. Some lies will be discovered almost immediately. One wannabe dominant who described himself as "tall and imposing" was quite suc- cessful at meeting submissives, but the meetings rarely went beyond that.
He couldn't understand why A glance in the mirror might have helped. You can imagine the suspicions sub- missives might have felt about any other information he had given them. Other lies may take a while to come out. Marital status. Honesty is the best policy. In general, the approach in seeking male submissives can be a bit more "abrupt" than that in seeking females.
Speaking even more plainly, what will scare the bejesus out of a novice female may be just right to attract a novice male. Of course, the perfect strategy is a matter of hot debate among those who use this approach. I have noticed that those of my female dominant friends who run the worship-at-my-feet-whde-I-whip-your-ass type of adver- tisement do tend to get more responses than their more sedate colleagues.
However, they also tend to attract a greater percentage of mindfuckers and no-shows. All in all, it seems to even out in regard to the number of male submissives who actually appear. When writing my advertisements, I act on the assump- tion that submissive women are not looking for someone who will declare dominance.
Almost all men will loudly claim that they are dominant; most are wrong. In any case, the simple declaration of dominance is not enough to motivate most submissive women. They are not looking for declarations of brutality or strength. Almost anyone can swing a whip or a paddle.
Nature has made most men stronger, at least in their torsos and shoulders, than most women. What they are seeking is some evidence that the person behind the advertisement is trustworthy and sensitive to their needs. Rather than providing a set of catch phrases or sample advertisements that anyone could copy, I suggest that you male dominants look deep inside yourselves. If, once this reality is brought to your attention, you still cannot convey the requisite sensitivity in words, you may not be ready to hang a riding crop from the left side of your belt.
When you get a response to your advertisement, don't be surprised if a submissive— particularly a female sub- missive — is forthright in demanding more information about you. After all, the submissive is the one who must feel secure in giving up freedom. There may be a few maniacal ax-wielding submissives around, but 1 haven't heard of them.
The Ted Bundys of the world have made submissives understandably nervous. The most extreme example of demanding information I ever encountered was M, a thirty-year-old female submis- sive, who was a fop-level executive in a nationwide store chain.
She began with a standardized thirty-minute inter- view probing into details of the potential master's experi- ence and background. As she put it, "I look at it as if I were hiring a vice president. After all, 1 am going to have to put my safety into his hands. I want to know if he can handle it. They are quite happy together. Bulltlin-bniiil Susteias Electronic bulletin board systems BBSs can be used sim- ply as modem versions of the classified advertisements. To use them, you need a computer and a device called a modem, which allows the computer to communicate over the tele- phone lines.
Then you just instruct your computer to call the BBS bulletin-board system , and you can read other people's messages and leave your own messages on the BBS. The simplest of the BBSs are quite similar to conven- tional bulletin boards. Users can post messages, requests for information, or advertisements which other users can read and respond to.
Most, also, have an electronic-mail system for the exchange of private messages. More complex systems have several phone lines so that several users can be using the system at the same time and even communicate in "real time" by typing messages that others 'on-line' can read instantly. These systems range from small home computers run by hobbyists some of whom are in the scene to large mainframe complexes like CompuServe and Prodigy, which are only a local phone call from most of the people in the country.
Most charge a monthly or yearly member- ship fee to cover expenses; others charge an hourly fee. One attraction of BBSs is the speed with which a mes- sage can be posted. A magazine may take up to six months to run your advertisement, a newspaper, two days to a week, while an advertisement in a BBS can appear almost instantly.
But the greatest attraction is anonymity. On most BBSs, you are identified only by a "handle. This requirement is not a major problem for those with a little imagination and cre- ativity. The handle serves to identify you to the BBS's comput- The Loving Dominant j 79 er and acts as a mailing "address" for electronic mail.
There is generally no way for other users to obtain your real name, address, or telephone number if you do not wish it. For example, you might see a message from a submis- sive who sounds promising. You could either reply to that message in the public board or send a private message E- mail. He or she could use either mode to reply. The major qualitative difference between BBSs and con- ventional printed publications is that they allow users to "strut their stuff" in public as well as simply posting advertisements.
This is possible because there is rarely an extra charge for posting messages. I make it a point to post helpful hints regularly on the BBSs where I have accounts. I also respond to requests for information. In fact, many of the sections of this book first appeared as messages on a computer screen. These notes allow cautious submissives to evaluate me as a dominant without even revealing their presence.
By the time they contact me, the "hook" is set firmly. All that is necessary is for me to decide the extent of involve- ment I will permit. In many cases, it is limited to guidance and advice; in others, the involvement can become much more intense. However, the computer has permitted each of us to exercise control in an area that was appropriate. This reduces her insecurities while permitting us to meet and look each other over with a minimum of pressure.
The intensity that can develop and the extreme trust required make it "more" than most unions, not "different. The first meeting is a time to exchange a lot of information, and it is difficult to keep someone's attention when she or he is worrying or looking forward to what will be happening in the next few minutes.
The initial discussions should be quite detailed, but they can also be a mini-scene in their own right. The con- versation can be played as a job interview with a young person attempting to get a well-paying job with a domi- nating, powerful person of the opposite sex, a medical examination, a Catholic-type confession before a priest or mother superior, a respondent to a Kinsey-type sex survey. Some sample questions are in Appendix G, which contains a questionnaire that Sir Spencer uses when interviewing new submissives.
You need to go over the submissive's medical history. However, something that a submissive admits to being scared of is not automatically banished from your repertoire; actually, it may turn out to be a major turn-on for that submissive. After all, the sensation of fear is one of the major driving forces of the scene. Helping a submis- sive ride that crest of fear is one of the strongest highs for a dominant. If you wish, you can ask about the submissive's pain tolerance, but except with highly experienced submissives, I have found such responses to be unreliable.
One woman who described herself as a "big sissy" gloried in fifteen to twenty strokes of the cane, something well beyond the tol- erance of most submissives. A muscular man who told a female dominant, "I can take anything a woman can dish out," was screaming his safeword before she ran out of her first Baggie of clothespins. This initial conversation is a good place to assign a safe word or words or to allow the submissive to choose them. For a detailed discussion of the types and levels of safe words, check the chapter on consent.
Here, I will only say again that it is absolutely necessary to have at least one safe word so the submissive can stop the scene before it gets too intense. Things can go wrong. At this point, you should also discuss any limits on activities, including sexual. It does not have to be detailed. While you are gathering this information, you should keep in mind that this is an opportunity for the submissive to look over an unfamiliar dominant: you. For the submis- sive's peace of mind, you should be careful to maintain a dignified and professional demeanor.
You can either ask about the submissive's fantasies or try a more sensual, voluptuous approach I enjoy. Its basic idea is taken from Sigmund Freud. He recognized that people can be extremely sensitive to body language and other subliminal dues when they are talking about highly personal matters.
Freud suggested that the doctor sit out of sight of the patient during the session to minimize the cues that might make it difficult for the patient to be open. My method modifies Freud's technique for my own erotic purposes. If your submissive is comfortable with being nude, have him or her undress and sit in a comfortable chair. If not, have him or her change into loose, comfortable gar- ments before sitting down.
Comfort is important; you don't want any distractions. Stand behind the submissive or put your chair behind theirs. The important thing is to be outside he line of sight. Reach around the chair and gen- tly run your hands over her breasts and neck or his chest and balls. Do not play hard enough to give more than a slight turn on. The imagination — not your hands — should be the primary stimulant. An alternative is to have him or her put on a blindfold and He on a bed. Since there should not be any struggling, there is little need to worry about bind- ing or nerve damage.
The ropes, scarves, or whatever should be tied loosely and used primarily for psychologi- cal effect. The idea is to stimulate fantasy, not do a full- fledged scene. If possible, put on some soft, relaxing music. Everything should be designed to promote relaxation and flights of fancy without giving any clues as to what "appropriate" responses should be. In a low, gentle voice say something like "Just relax, my darling. Close your eyes. Feel sexy. Be aware of being turned on. Let your imagination run wild. Don't try to guide it or keep from thinking about anything, no matter how erotic.
Nothing you say now is real. It is all fantasy. Just let me ride through your subconscious with you. There are no rules, no taboos. Tell me what you are think- ing, dreaming about. As these begin to wane, there may be a bit of resistance. After all, you are getting into a very, very, personal space. Don't be insistent, but just continue as you have been. Let's continue to explore.
You are turn- ing me on so much. Share your fire with me. Even a gasp or an "oh, my! Listen and learn. Whatever technique you use, you need to explore the submissive's fantasies. While you are not bound to follow any script, this information will allow you to create scenes that can excite and please both of you.
Hundreds of leather-dad domi- nants and submissives mixing in an erotically charged atmo- sphere. Your perfect submissive waiting on bended knees for you to grasp the collar and drag him or her off to your lair. In real life, they are fun and exciting. However, as is so often the case, the reality is not quite the same as fantasy.
There are two types of clubs: scene and nonscene. At a scene club, you can actually whip, spank, or otherwise play with your submissive. Nonscene clubs are places where you can show off your gear, talk to potential part- ners, and relax with others in the scene, but no actual dis- dpline can take place — at least overtly. Not sur- prisingly, they are in New York City. However, there are some problems that prevent their being the answers to a dominant's dream. Both attract throngs of tourists.
Either because of a deep-seated fear or through simple bad manners, some of the tourists may behave rudely and inappropriately. For example, you will never hear anyone in the scene shout- ing "Hit her again, harder" during someone's scene.